How do you get unstuck?
First, thank you for being here with me. 💖 I love hearing from you, so if you read something that makes your heart sing, drop me a note and let me know. 😊
Now, for the goods I want to share with you today… the hidden inner conflict that can keep you stuck!
Long story short, did you know that you are wired for two things that often oppose each other in painful and confusing ways?
- You’re wired to want and desire more
- You’re also wired to seek safety, comfort, and security
The conflict that these two things create inside of you is what keeps you feeling scared, indecisive, and stuck-stuck-stuck.
Wanting more (a.k.a. your sacred desire) is what gives birth to change and evolution (cue raucous cheers and excitement! 🎉)
But change and evolution are inherently risky endeavors (cue worry and agitation 😱).
Can you feel the way these two things can cancel each other out and lead to a lot of confusion, stagnation, and resistance?
True transformation requires consistent and persistent actions and choices that take you where you want to go. You have to keep choosing yourself and your desires again and again to make movement towards what you want.
But if your fear of the unknown takes over, you’ll most likely choose safety, familiarity, and stability instead of that long-standing, edgy-feeling, OMG dream you’ve been holding in your heart.
You’ll make choices that take you in a different direction than your desire, and instead embed you more deeply into the life (and security) you’re living today.
I have yet to meet someone who does not experience this inner conflict to one degree, or another. It’s a very human dilemma!
Change is natural, normal, and necessary. But change can also be messy and scary, too.
What can you do to get unstuck from the paralysis this inner conflict can create?
When I find myself in this push-pull place, I like to play a game with myself.
I imagine my life staying exactly as it is. How it would feel, how it would look, and what it would be like to be living the same thing 2, 5, 10, 20+ years from now.
By doing this I get a sense of what it would be like if things stayed as they are, right now, indefinitely.
Sometimes I feel disappointment, or like I’ve been squished into a too-tight box. I might even feel pangs of pain in my heart or stomach. It depends.
Then I imagine living my dream. I imagine that freefall tummy-flip rollercoaster feeling of change, but I also envision what it would be like to have what I want — how it would feel, how it would look, and who I might become because of all of it.
Usually, one imagining feels better than the other.
And then, like clockwork, a lot of fears emerge. My mind might go into hyperdrive and start throwing examples of all the reasons why it can’t work, can’t happen, can’t be mine.
My body might contract or even shake with fear. My emotions might get heightened, and I might feel ultra-sensitive (a.k.a. cranky) for a bit.
Then, I take myself through my “Befriend Your Fears” process, and I start to feel sane again.
I receive a deeper understanding of what my fears are trying to protect me from, and then I give them a new assignment and role to play.
Finally, I love on myself a ton — because sitting with the discomfort of all of this can be a lot! And because gentleness and generosity towards yourself always goes a long way.
What do you do when you find yourself up to your eyeballs in this inner conflict? Do you work with it? Or do you numb out? Run? Pretend it’s not there and everything is just fine and dandy?
I’d love to know how you navigate transformation and change. I’d love to hear what works for you, where you get stuck, how you get yourself un-stuck, and what your questions are about this process.
I’m always learning, and I’d love to learn from you!
Lots of love,
PS: I still have space available for private 1-on-1 coaching. If you’re curious, or feeling called to connect with me in some way, why not reach out? Simply reply to this email and we will find a time to chat.
Originally published on https://aliciamorrow.com/